Kids
We agree about the kids
If you’ve reached an agreement about the kids, you don’t need to do anything else.
If you write your agreement down and you and your ex sign and date it, it becomes a parenting plan.
A parenting plan is not legally enforceable but the court can consider a parenting plan if you ever end up in court about the kids.
The Child Support Agency can use a parenting plan to review child support payments.
If you want something that’s legally enforceable, you can take your agreement to a lawyer and ask them to help you apply for consent orders. Make sure you are happy with and able to follow the orders, including into the future, because they can be difficult to change.
We don't agree about the kids
I want to apply for court orders
- You need to attempt mediation with your ex before going to court unless your matter is urgent or there has been family violence and it’s not safe to mediate.
- Contact us, Legal Aid, or a Family Relationship Centre for help.
- The court will make orders that they believe are in your kid’s best interests and do not put them at risk.
I'm scared about having to mediate with my ex
- You need to attempt mediation with your ex before going to court unless your matter is urgent or there has been family violence and it’s not safe to mediate.
- The mediation service will decide whether it’s safe for you and your ex to mediate.
- You do not need to sit in the same room as your ex. Mediation can be done over the phone, video conferencing, or by the mediators going back and forth between you and your ex.
- If there is no safe way to do mediation, the mediation service may decide it’s not appropriate for you to mediate.
- If mediation is not appropriate, you or your ex can apply for parenting orders without needing to mediate.
I've tried to mediate with my ex but we still can't agree
- You can apply to a court for parenting orders.
- Before applying, you need to write to your ex and let them know what orders you are seeking and give them 14 days to respond.
We can't agree about which school to send the kids to
- You need to attempt mediation with your ex before going to court unless your matter is urgent or there has been family violence and it’s not safe to mediate.
- If you still can’t agree, you can apply to court for a decision about which school the kids go to.
- Before applying, you need to write to your ex and let them know what orders you are seeking and give them 14 days to respond.
- The court will make orders that they believe are in your kid’s best interests.
We can’t agree on whether to get the kids vaccinated
- You need to attempt mediation with your ex before going to court unless your matter is urgent or there has been family violence and it’s not safe to mediate.
- If you still can’t agree, you can apply to court for a decision about whether the kids get vaccinated.
- Before applying, you need to write to your ex and let them know what orders you are seeking and give them 14 days to respond.
- The court will make orders that they believe are in your kid’s best interests.
I want to travel overseas with our kids but my ex won't agree
- If you have your kids’ passports and there are no parenting orders, you can travel overseas with your kids.
- It is an offence to travel overseas with your kids if there are parenting orders in place or an application for parenting orders has been made.
- There is a risk that your ex could apply for orders that your kids be put on the Airport Watchlist, which will prevent your kids from being able to leave Australia.
- It is better to apply for court orders that your kids be allowed to travel overseas. If they do not have a passport, you could also apply for orders that they be issued with a passport.
- You need to attempt mediation with your ex before going to court unless your matter is urgent or there has been family violence and it’s not safe to mediate.
- If you can’t reach an agreement after mediation, you need to write to your ex and let them know what court orders you are seeking and give them 14 days to respond.
- The court will make orders that they believe are in your kid’s best interests.
My ex wants to travel overseas with our kids but I don't agree
- If your kids have passports, you should try to find and hold on to them.
- If your ex has your kids’ passports, you could apply for orders that your kids be put on the Airport Watchlist, which will prevent your kids from being able to leave Australia.
I want to change my kid’s surname
- You need to attempt mediation with your ex before going to the family court unless your matter is urgent or there has been family violence and it’s not safe to mediate.
- If you still can’t agree, you can apply to the family court for a decision about whether the kids’ surname should be changed.
- Before applying, you need to write to your ex and let them know what orders you are seeking and give them 14 days to respond.
- The family court will make orders that they believe are in your kid’s best interests.
- If the other parent was violent towards you or your kid and they have not spent time with your kid for a long time, you may be able to apply to the District Court for orders changing your kid’s name without having to notify them.
I’m worried about my kid’s safety
I want to move out and take our kids with me
- If you leave, you can take your kids with you.
- Get advice from us or Legal Aid before moving far away because your ex may seek court orders to make you return.
I’m worried the kids aren’t safe with my ex
- You do not need to need to allow your kids to spend time with your ex, but you should get urgent advice about your situation from us or Legal Aid.
Our kids were living with me, but my ex refuses to return them or has run off with them
- It is really important you act quickly.
- You can apply to the court for an urgent recovery order.
- The court can order the Police to find your kids and return them to you, if they think that’s in the kid’s best interests.
- Contact us or Legal Aid for urgent advice.
I’m not sure if what my ex says is true
My ex says they have the right to equal time with our kids
- This isn’t true.
- Parents are not entitled to spend any amount of time with their kids.
- The court will make orders that they believe are in your kid’s best interests and do not put them at risk.
- If you don’t think your kid is safe, you don’t have to hand your kid over to spend time with an unsafe parent. Get urgent legal advice if this is the case.
- Contact us, Legal Aid, or a Family Relationship Centre for help.
My ex says that if I leave with the kids, I’m kidnapping, and they can call the cops
- This isn’t true.
- You and your ex both have the right to decide where they live and how they spend time with the other parent.
- The cops won’t get involved unless they are worried someone is at risk of getting hurt.
My ex says I can’t move out of the local area with the kids
- This isn’t true.
- You can move but if it effects the amount of time your kids usually spend with your ex, you should get legal advice before moving.
DCJ (also known as DOCS or FACS) are part of my life
The NSW Department of Communities and Justice (DCJ), which used to be known as DOCS or FACS, can get involved with your family if they believe that your kids are at risk of harm.
DCJ contacted me
- DCJ are worried about your kids’ safety.
- Ask them what they are concerned about. LISTEN carefully to what they are saying.
- Try to work with them and follow their advice.
- If you don’t work with them, they could take your kids.
- Contact us or Legal Aid for advice.
DCJ have taken my kids
- Ask them why they have taken your kids. Listen carefully to what they are saying.
- Keep any paperwork they give you safe and give it to your lawyer.
- You can tell them who you would like your kids to live with until they can be returned to you.
- Try to work with them and follow their advice.
- Legal Aid will arrange a lawyer to represent you in court.
- Follow your lawyer’s advice.
- If you do what DCJ and your lawyer tell you to do, there is a better chance DCJ will agree to return your kids to you.
The court has made final orders and I want to spend more time with my kids
- You can apply to Legal Aid for a care contact mediation.
- Legal Aid will invite you, your kids’ carers, DCJ and the lawyer that represented your kids in court, to participate in the mediation.
- If you can’t reach an agreement during the mediation, you should get legal advice from your lawyer, contact us or Legal Aid about applying for court orders.
The court has made final orders and I want my kids back
- You can apply to court for orders changing the final orders.
- You need to be dealing with the issues that led to your kids being removed.
- For example, if they were removed because you were using drugs, you should be getting help to stop you from using drugs.
- You should apply as soon as you can show the court you have made some big positive changes in your life and can care for your kids again.
- Contact us or Legal Aid for advice.
- If you are a First Nations woman you can also contact the Aboriginal Legal Service NSW and ACT for advice.
DCJ are talking about guardianship
- This means they are thinking about giving your kids’ carers full responsibility for your kids.
- DCJ stops being involved. You will need to deal directly with your kids’ carers.
- Orders will be usually made about the amount of time your kids should spend with you.
- Their carers will be responsible for arranging contact between you and your kids.
- If DCJ makes a guardianship application contact us or Legal Aid for advice.
- If you are a First Nations woman you can also contact the Aboriginal Legal Service NSW and ACT for advice.
DCJ are talking about adoption
- Adoption permanently hands over all the rights and responsibilities for your kids to their carers.
- Orders will be usually made about the amount of time your kids should spend with you.
- If DCJ makes an adoption application contact us or Legal Aid for advice.
- If you are a First Nations woman you can also contact the Aboriginal Legal Service NSW and ACT for advice.
We are a rainbow family
Children born to a same sex couple are treated the same way as children born to a heterosexual couple.
If you agreed to the artificial conception of your kids during your relationship, you are their parent.
If your ex is a woman that gave birth to your kids and she says you are not a parent, this is not true.
A court will make orders that they believe are in your kid’s best interests and do not put them at risk.
You can apply to a court for an order declaring you are your kids’ parent.
Contact us, Legal Aid, or a Family Relationship Centre for help.
